Recently I “celebrated” my 42nd birthday. Now a few short weeks later I sit in seat 14F on my final leg of a flight from Virginia to California where Chris will pick me up and we’ll embark on adventure long overdue. We are headed to north central Oregon to the Frank Church Wilderness. There we will spend 8 days living off our backs hunting Elk with our bows. I’m both excited and terrified at the same time. This is a trip he and I have been planning for about a year now. We’ve spent a lot of time, much to our wives’ annoyance, on the phone planning every detail of this trip. We have spent countless hours doing research and preparing gear. The miles and miles hiked to help prepare our bodies for this trip can be seen on our boots. This will be my first ever Elk hunt so why not combine it with my first ever western big game hunt in the backcountry. I am beyond excited for the adventure but, as I mentioned, I’m terrified as well. At 42 I like to think I am in pretty good shape, although I may have a bit of “COVID weight” going on. The problem is I have foot and ankle problems and have battled back problems for over a decade. This is where the terrified part comes in and I worry that I will get out there on the trail and not be able to do it.
As a Marine I have spent the last 23 plus years doing what Marines do, make it happen. You might be in pain, tired, hungry, whatever but you just put your head down and push. Well anyone who has made a career out of the Marine Corps will tell you, as I will, that lifestyle is hard on the body. You reach a point where putting down your head and pushing through just does not work all the well anymore. I worry that is where I am now in my life. As I mentioned I logged a lot of miles preparing for this trip. I feel pretty confident in that. However, reality quickly sets in when you pick up your back with, tent, stove, optics, camera gear, water filtration, bow, and food. How shit that pack is heavy has been said a few times already. Maybe I just won’t take as much food, I mean I could stand to lose a couple pounds. Feeling my back settling on my hips my mind drifted to the thought of adding an Elk quarter. Would I be able to do it when the time came? What if I “throw out” my back, as I have done countless times? These are the thoughts that I keep running through my head. Eight days in the backcountry. That is going to be tough.
As nervous as I am about how heavy my pack is and how hard this adventure is going to be. I am looking forward to a sore back and sore feet. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love being in the woods. This trip though will be an all new experience. I do have adventures in the West exploring our public lands but nothing ever like this. Never have I experienced our Wilderness areas and this will be a truly remarkable event for me. I am a dreamer and well aware of the fact I romanticize about adventures in the wild spaces of the world. Yet another reason I have so much anxiety about this trip. I hope I have not set expectations for myself that cannot be met in the reality that is life.
In the end, I know this trip will be an adventure to remember. If I struggle then that is fine, I will just have to scale things back. Regardless of how hard we hike or what mountains we climb, we will be in the Wilderness. Living a dream and making memories we will tell our grandchildren about. if we are lucky, we will put some Elk meat in the freezer but the reality is we are already lucky. We are lucky, no blessed, to have the opportunity to enjoy friendship on our public lands.
